Articles for the Month of April 2015

RELEASE DAY EVENT: Sweet (Contours of the Heart, #3) by Tammara Webber

Join us in celebrating the release of SWEET by Tammara Webber!

Check out the excerpt and teasers below!

Sweet
SWEET (Contours of the Heart #3) by Tammara Webber
NA Contemporary Romance

 

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Blurb:
He’s the love of her life, but he doesn’t know it.
She’s his one moment of sacrifice in a lifetime of survival.
He was damaged and wild, but resilient.
She’s always been obedient. Now she’s restless.
Home for the summer between college and med school, Pearl Torres Frank knows two things: Boyce Wynn is the embodiment of everything she should run from, and everything she wants to run to. Rebellious and loud. Unconcerned with society’s opinion of him. Passionate. Strong. Dangerous.
And one more trait he hides from everyone but her:
 
Sweet.

 

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Excerpt:

Boyce watched me, a lit cigarette in one hand and a koozied
beer in the other. We hadn’t spoken since that kiss, other than his usual juvenile
quips during biology—the ones that drove Mel and Mr. Quinn insane and made
Landon smirk and shake his head and had me biting the inside of my cheek to
suppress my smile.
 
At first, I’d been confused, then disappointed, and then
angry. I’d worked my way to acceptance, like when I’d known I was drowning and
there was nothing I could do. He’d merely gone back to being Boyce Wynn, who
did what he wanted and who he wanted. And I’d gone back to being Pearl
Frank—star student, social royalty, good girl.
 
But I couldn’t forget that kiss. The fixed glint of his eyes
across the fire said that neither could he.


About the Author:
 
New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of EASY and BREAKABLE (Contours of the Heart series – NA), as well BETWEEN THE LINES, WHERE YOU ARE, GOOD FOR YOU and HERE WITHOUT YOU (Between the Lines series – YA/NA).
I’m a hopeful romantic who adores novels with happy endings, because there are enough sad endings in real life. Before writing full-time, I was an undergraduate academic advisor, economics tutor, planetarium office manager, radiology call center rep, and the palest person to ever work at a tanning salon. I married my high school sweetheart, and I’m Mom to three adult kids and four very immature cats.

 

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Book Review: BLACK IRIS by Leah Raeder

9781476786421

 

 BLACK IRIS by Leah Raeder 

Atria Books Paperback | 384 pages | ISBN: 9781476786421 | On sale: April 28, 2015 | $15.00

eBook: Atria Books | 384 pages | ISBN: 9781476786438 | On sale: April 28, 2015 | $5.99

 

ABOUT BLACK IRIS:
It only took one moment of weakness for Laney Keating’s world to fall apart. One stupid gesture for a hopeless crush. Then the rumors began. Slut, they called her. Queer. Psycho. Mentally ill, messed up, so messed up even her own mother decided she wasn’t worth sticking around for.
If Laney could erase that whole year, she would. College is her chance to start with a clean slate.
She’s not looking for new friends, but they find her: charming, handsome Armin, the only guy patient enough to work through her thorny defenses—and fiery, filterless Blythe, the bad girl and partner in crime who has thorns of her own.
But Laney knows nothing good ever lasts. When a ghost from her past resurfaces—the bully who broke her down completely—she decides it’s time to live up to her own legend. And Armin and Blythe are going to help.
Which was the plan all along.
Because the rumors are true. Every single one. And Laney is going to show them just how true.
She’s going to show them all.

 

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REVIEW

Mindfuck. This book is a total mindfuck.
That perfectly describes Black Iris and the psychological turmoil I experienced while reading. 
I thought my first experience reading Leah Raeder’s Unteachable was intense, but this book displays a whole different level of her literary genius. It’s powerful and deeply personal which makes the reader connect in an indescribable way. 

 

The novel captivates you from the moment you begin reading. I am generally not a fan of making highlights in books. When I started reading more e-books I rarely took advantage of the highlight feature on my Kindle. I loved that I was able to highlight and flag things without marring the book, but I’ve still remained a bit conservative in that respect. Something has to really speak to me for me to highlight. Black Iris seems to be the exception. I found myself constantly highlighting wanting to savor and remember every moment, marking the words that moved me so I could go back to them later and relive the experience. The writing is profound, lyrical and undeniably haunting.  There is a pain and complexity to this book that I’ve never experienced before as a reader. It is as though you are watching someone come to terms with their very existence and how they begin to accept every part that makes them a whole. The book is sexual, but doesn’t fit in any particular mold. The romantic aspect of this book is complex and at times troubling. I worried about how toxic some of the relationships in this book had become at one point, but there was such immense beauty in Laney’s coming to terms with who she was. Bit by bit, piece by piece, as disturbed as I was at times by her actions I understood them in a way that made me question my sanity. 

 

There are writers I dislike, writers I like and then there are the writers that I love. The ones who I know will repeatedly produce outstanding content. The author whose writing seeps its way into my veins, searing their name into my soul. Leah Raeder managed to win me over with Unteachable, but Black Iris gripped my heart solidifying my love for her writing and a deep respect for her as an author. It is addictive, flawlessly unique and oddly refreshing. It is unlike any book I’ve ever read. Black Iris is raw, wild and completely unpredictable. It crosses boundaries and takes you through a journey of acceptance, revenge and pain unlike any book I’ve ever read. It examines human sexuality on a deeper level than I’ve ever contemplated. It describes how fierce love between human beings can be, the effects of non acceptance from society as well as self and how deep an individuals experience can brand them and to what lengths someone will go for retribution. Love is love — Reader’s brilliant, dark and poetic writing capture this message beautifully. I voraciously devoured Black Iris and I hope you will too. 

 

BUY NOW :

US:

 

Amazon   |   Barnes & Noble   |   Books-a-Million   |   IndieBound

 

UK:

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AUS:

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Leah Raeder is a writer and unabashed nerd. Aside from reading her brains out, she enjoys graphic design, video games, fine whiskey, and the art of self-deprecation. She lives with her very own manic pixie dream boy in Chicago. Visit her at LeahRaeder.com.
Find Leah online:
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Cover Reveal: SHUTTERGIRL by CD Reiss

SHUTTERGIRL FINAL

 

Author Note: If you know me, you know my Submission and Corruption books. This is different. This is about love and loss, ambition and talent, and our commitments to ourselves and each other. I don’t close the door on the expression of love, but this is not the usual dirty pleasure.

 

Release Date: May 20th

 

Blurb
I am not hurt.
I don’t need a second chance with him, or a life I thought I had.
While he was out forgetting me to become a movie star, I was building a career out of nothing. A career as a paparazzi, but a career. For a foster kid who bounced around every home in Los Angeles, that wasn’t easy.
This camera is all I have.
He’s nothing to me. Every time I take his picture and sell it, I remind myself that I did it all without him or his approval, his cinnamon smell or his clear green eyes. He lights up the screen like a celestial body, but he’s nothing but a paycheck to me.
He can throw my camera off a balcony, and nothing has to change. We can stay king and queen of the same city, and different worlds.
Except this is Hollywood, and here, anything can happen.

 

Add the Hollywood Project aka ShutterGirl to your TBR list: 

 

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ShutterGirl Book Trailer:


shuttergirl teaser


cd reiss new bio

CD Reiss is a USA Today and Amazon bestseller. She still has to chop wood and carry water, which was buried in the fine print. Her lawyer is working it out with God but in the meantime, if you call and she doesn’t pick up, she’s at the well, hauling buckets.
Born in New York City, she moved to Hollywood, California to get her master’s degree in screenwriting from USC. In case you want to know, that went nowhere, but it did embed TV story structure in her head well enough for her to take a big risk on a TV series structured erotic series called Songs of Submission. It’s about a kinky billionaire hung up on his ex-wife, an ingenue singer with a wisecracking mouth; art, music and sin in the city of Los Angeles.
Critics have dubbed the books “poetic,” “literary,” and “hauntingly atmospheric,” which is flattering enough for her to put it in a bio, but embarrassing enough for her not to tell her husband, or he might think she’s some sort of braggart who’s too good to give the toilets a once-over every couple of weeks or chop a cord of wood.
If you meet her in person, you should call her Christine.

 

Stalk Her:
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Book Review: Without Me (Men of Inked #5) by Chelle Bliss

WMTourBannerTHE LAST MEN OF INKED BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE!
WIthoutMeBiggerVersion

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Synopsis:
I’d led a selfish existence.
I liked who I was. Hell, I loved myself.
Women threw themselves at me and I took what they offered without remorse. I promised them nothing.
I sank my teeth into life, holding on to the bitch like my very existence depended on it.
Time passed.
Women came and went.
The second I let my guard down and released the hold I had on life… What was my award for such carelessness?
A love so spectacular and heart wrenching that it threw me for a loop. When I was in too deep to escape, my greatest fears became reality.
This is my story. My downfall. My salvation.


REVIEW 

*This was an ARC provided to me for free in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and comments are my own.*

Tears! Chelle, you brought me to TEARS!!!! God, I loved this book. It is by far the best in the series, but I suspected it would be since I’ve always had a soft spot for Anthony. I knew he would be knocked down when love finally came his way. Chelle did not disappoint.  

 

Without Me is a raw, deeply moving and heart wrenching account of a love so deep it inspires you. Anthony’s story is as tumultuous as I’d envisioned. Despite all the obstacles Without Me is a beautiful story. As with all the Men of Inked books, this one felt familiar, like you were experiencing everything through the eyes of friends or family. There’s something about Chelle’s  writing that makes you feel so connected to these characters and their stories. Without Me gutted me at times. I was so invested in this story and the outcome I read it in one sitting…COULD NOT put it down! The story is told in dual POV which I absolutely loved. Chelle nailed both characters. Before the release of Without Me I had my suspicions about Anthony’s love interest and I nailed a few things which made me happy, other things were unexpected curve balls that just made this story come to life for me. 

 

I found it incredibly difficult to write this review because as much as I adore this book I don’t want to spoil one moment for you when you pick up a copy. The synopsis is vague enough that I feel I should leave the love interest out of my review. I think experiencing what Anthony does as it happens is the best way to read this book. I swear I never thought I’d see the day where Anthony Gallo would be knocked out by love. To say he was persistent when it came to this story is an understatement. You will see a kinder, softer, more caring side of him, but you will also see an angry, dark side one that is at times overcome by the emotions sizzling between the two. You’ll experience both their feelings and desires. I think I connected with this book on so many different levels.  Chelle never failed to bring the heat we’ve grown to love and swoon over from the Gallo clan. When I wasn’t going through emotional turmoil, I was fanning myself and attempting to stop my kindle from bursting into flames….man oh man was this book HOT!  

 

Warning, this book may cause tears…big fat ugly ones, or maybe just a few, but it will get to you.  You know that one stray tear that falls down your cheek as you read a story so beautiful you can’t help but feel for the characters…even as you try to avoid it, it happens. One teardrop that you quickly swipe away and continue reading only to get hit again and again by all the emotional ferocity and fire that is Chelle Bliss…yeah, it just might happen. 

 

This story hit me hard because of the content and I know if you have experienced similar things as Anthony or the other characters you’ll understand that this was an emotional journey for not only the reader, but also Chelle. I urge you to read the Letter to Readers at the end so you understand just how personal this story is. It was beautiful. I loved every minute of it and I’m glad that although this is the end of the Men of Inked series, we won’t be seeing the last of the Gallos. A definite must-read for Erotic Romance/Contemporary Romance readers. 

 

Grab your copy today!

Amazon   |   Barnes & Noble   |   iTunes   |   Kobo

 


Muscular and sexy torso of young man


About the Author

Bliss

USA Today bestselling author Chelle Bliss is an American author who writes stories about real-life scenarios with fantasy Alpha males. Her works include humor as well as steamy sex.
Website   |   Facebook   |   Twitter
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Listen to the Without Me Playlist on Spotify

bookmark-2inx8in-h-frontStart Reading the COMPLETED Men of Inked Series!
Throttle Me ~ Book 1
Hook Me ~ Book 2
Throttled ~ Book 3
Resist Me ~ Book 4
Resisting ~ Book 5
Uncover Me ~ Book 6
Without Me ~ Book 7
Also available on Barnes & Noble, Kobo, iTunes, and GooglePlay!

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Book Review: Deep (Stage Dive, #4) by Kylie Scott

deep

SYNOPSIS
Positive. With two little lines on a pregnancy test, everything in Lizzy Rollins’ ordinary life is about to change forever. And all because of one big mistake in Vegas with Ben Nicholson, the irresistibly sexy bass player for Stage Dive. So what if Ben’s the only man she’s ever met who can make her feel completely safe, cherished, and out of control with desire at the same time? Lizzy knows the gorgeous rock star isn’t looking for anything more permanent than a good time, no matter how much she wishes differently.
 
Ben knows Lizzy is off limits. Completely and utterly. She’s his best friend’s little sister now, and no matter how hot the chemistry is between them, no matter how sweet and sexy she is, he’s not going to go there. But when Ben is forced to keep the one girl he’s always had a weakness for out of trouble in Sin City, he quickly learns that what happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay there. Now he and Lizzie are connected in the deepest way possible…but will it lead to a connection of the heart?

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Amazon US   |   Amazon UK   |   Barnes & Noble   |   Kobo   |   iBooks

 


REVIEW

*This was an ARC provided to me for free in exchange for an honest review.

All thoughts and comments are my own.*

As far as rock star romances go, Kylie Scott’s Stage Dive series is the cream of the crop. She absolutely nailed this series. I fell in love with Lick, then Play stole the show and had me in stitches not to mention hot and bothered, Lead made me fall in love with love and now Kylie pulls together a remarkable ending to a much-loved series. Ben and Lizzy’s story comes to life in the best possible way with Deep.
 
My heart broke a little by the end of this book and not because the story ended badly, in fact, I think I loved the ending a little too much because I was grinning like a Cheshire cat. My disappointment or heartbreak was related to the series coming to an end. It has been a much beloved series and I will definitely revisit when I need my rock star fix. It’s hard for me to pick favorites in the series, Deep hit me on a different level. The connection between Ben and Lizzy frustrated me at times, but the combo was absolutely perfect for so many ways…I got it and I loved it. I was upset, enchanted and utterly smitten all at once. I laughed a lot (as I did with all the Stage Dive books.) Lizzy is loveable and fierce. I fell in love with her bravery and ferocity. I fell hard for Ben the minute I heard about the bearded bass player…. must’ve been the B 😉
 
Lizzy Rollins has had a crush on bass player Ben Nicholson since the day she laid eyes on him, she attempted to pursue him only to be repeatedly shut down, but one night in Vegas will irrevocably change their lives. Sorry Ben, what happened in Vegas won’t be staying in Vegas after all. Ben, the man we knew never wanted to be tamed. He’s got a thing for Lizzy, but keeps her at an arms length, but will their connection bring him to his knees?
 
This book had me crushing on Ben something fierce. He was a brooding mess at times, but there was also such a tender side to him. He was always the mysterious one to me so it was interesting to finally learn more about him. His relationship with Lizzy is anything but smooth and the two compliment one another well. They have a ton of hurdles to work through, but by the end you’re completely smitten and satiated with the outcome.
 
Deep weaved its way into my heart and left a lasting imprint. The Stage Dive books are hands down my favorite rocker series. Ben and Lizzy’s story will take you on a witty and emotional journey, with plenty of magical moments. There are interconnected stories featuring the other stage dive members and their significant others, plus new characters are introduced. I must mention Mal because he has been one of my favorites from day one and he made this book an even better experience for me. He always adds just a little something extra and his presence in this book is absolute perfection. This book is entertaining, humorous and off the charts steamy. I hope Kylie finds a way to bring back my favorite characters in the future.

 


 

EXCERPT

His laughter, it didn’t really sound the smallest bit amused. “Christ. You’re done here.”
“Ah, no. I’m actually not. Now see, this is where we have a problem.” I folded my arms. Then unfolded them because like fuck I’d look defensive. He was the one in the wrong, not me. “You’re not prepared to take me, or my feelings, seriously. What you want is to hide away in Mr. Too Cool for Commitment land and just play with my affections when it suits you. Okay, I’ve accepted that. But none of that means it’s okay for you to come in here and act like you’re the boss of me. None of it.”
“That so?” he asked, leaning down so that we were almost nose to nose.
“That’s so, baby.” I play-punched him in the shoulder, which it should be noted, I barely came up to. Okay, so maybe the alcohol on a mostly empty stomach had made me slightly/lots braver/sillier. “So why don’t you take your little caveman jealous tantrum bullshit somewhere else. See, I do this funny thing I like to refer to as whatever the fuck I want. Understand?”
He just stared.
“And as pretty as you are with your beard and your muscles, you are too damn tricky and . . . complicated and shit for me.”
“I am?”
“Yes, you are. Are you finally seeing my point here?”
“You bet.”
“Excellent. So take your hotness elsewhere, kind sir. I want no part of it!” Huh. I had so told him. Drunken bravado was the best.
 
deep teaser 4 

 About the Author

kylie scott

Kylie is a long time fan of erotic love stories and B-grade horror films. She demands a happy ending and if blood and carnage occur along the way then all the better. Based in Queensland, Australia with her two children and one delightful husband, she reads, writes and never dithers around on the internet.
 
Kylie is represented by Amy Tannenbaum at the Jane Rotrosen Agency, New York.
 
Stalk Kylie Scott: 
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Stage Dive Series Reading Order

 

Lick (Book One)

 

Amazon US   |   Amazon UK   |   Barnes & Noble   |   Kobo   |   iBooks

 

Play (Book Two)

 

Amazon US   |   Amazon UK  |   Barnes & Noble   |   Kobo   |   iBooks

 

Lead (Book Three)

 

Amazon US   |   Amazon UK   |   Barnes & Noble   |   Kobo   |   iBooks

 

 

Deep (Book Four)

Amazon US   |   Amazon UK   |   Barnes & Noble   |   Kobo   |   iBooks

 


 GIVEAWAY

Win a SIGNED SET of the Stage Dive Series

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Fisher Amelie’s Cover Reveals & Announcement

The much anticipated release of Fisher Amelie’s third standalone installment of The Seven Deadly Series, FURY, finally has a release date! Stay tuned below for the reveals of her new covers for VAIN and GREED, a chapter from FURY, as well as the heart-stopping trailer for FURY, due out May 4th, 2015.

Prepare Yourselves.

 

About FURY:
Revenge is an euphoric thing. Trust me on this. Nothing compares to the release you get when you ruin someone’s life. When they’ve stolen important things. Things that didn’t belong to them. Things I revel in making them pay for.
What? Have I offended you? I’m not here to appeal to your delicate senses. I have no intention of placating your wishes or living within your personal belief system nor do I care if you hate me. And you will hate me. Because I’m a brutal, savage, cold-blooded murderer and I’m here for my revenge.
I’m Ethan Moonsong…And this is the story about how I went from the world’s most sacrificing man to the most feared and why I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

Fury May 4

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The new cover for the first standalone in The Seven Deadly Series, VAIN.

Vain_New

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The new cover for the second standalone in The Seven Deadly Series, GREED.

greed_BookCover5x8_BW_380

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 And now for an excerpt from FURY, due out

May 4th, 2015…

I heard a snap and the light cracked on, piercing through my closed lids. My head pounded and I groaned then rolled over, pulling my cover over my head to drown out the source of my pain.
“Get up,” a deep voice commanded. “Get up,” he continued, kicking my shoe.
“Dad,” I rasped. “I’m hungover and feel like shit.”
He was silent for a moment so I pulled the cover down just enough to see his face. He was not amused.
“Ethan, watch your language, get your butt up, and find a job.” I didn’t answer him. I had nothing to say that would please him. “And while you’re at it, stop this ridiculous drinkin’, son.”
I sat up, ran my hands through my long black hair and wrapped the length around my fist. I sat back against the wall, reveling in how cool it was, and tried not to vomit.
“Did you see them today?” I asked him, unable to help myself.
My dad removed his hat and leaned against the jamb, scrubbing his face with his free hand. “You like to torture yourself,” he said, shaking his head then sighing. “You remind me so much of your mama.”
The mere mention of my mother sent me spiraling down once more in depression. We’d lost her a few years before and I was still in agony. That, coupled with the fact that Spencer Blackwell stole my girl right out from underneath my nose, was enough for me to drink to excess every night. I hate him.
“Are they,” I swallowed, afraid of his answer, “are they together now?”
My father sighed again. “Ethan, get dressed.”
“Are they?” I asked again, letting my hand drop to my side. My hair slid with it and cascaded down my back.
“You are a stubborn boy. Yes, okay? Yes, they’re together. All the more reason to move on, son.”
My body suddenly weighed a thousand pounds and I felt my head reeling. So it was true then. They were together and they would probably get married and I was going to have to sit there in that godforsaken small town and watch it all happen. I was going to get a front row seat to my own misery.
I nodded once, rested my hands on my knees for a brief moment, then ran past my dad, shouldering him as I did so and nearly knocking him over before making it to the small bathroom across the hall and retching everything in my stomach into the toilet.
My dad stood in the bathroom doorway shaking his head in disappointment. When I was done, I fell back into the wall. That look shamed me to my core. Any time my dad felt let down, I felt the weight of my disgrace so heavy the only thing I could think to dull the ache was to drink myself into a stupor. It was a vicious cycle.
I let my hair cascade over my face. I heard the old wood floor creak beneath his feet as he left without another word and jumped when the front door slammed. My eyes closed as my head pounded.
The claw foot tub sat to my left so I leaned up and turned on the water, slowly removing my clothing one piece at time. Each movement felt like a hammer slamming into my head.
“God,” I groaned. “I am an idiot.”
I stood then stepped underneath the warm water and just stood in silence, letting the water absorb into my hair and seep into my skin. I breathed in the steam deeply. I was miserable. Not just physically but my heart was the heaviest it’d felt since my mom passed and I had no one to blame but Spencer Blackwell for that.
The asshole who rode into my life under the guise of helping his sister only to yank what I thought was a stable foundation right out from underneath me. He stole from me, a bona fide thief, and I wanted to make him pay. No, I needed to make him pay.
But how?
I finished showering and threw a towel around my waist, stepping from the tub and toppling onto my bed when I reached my room and fell to sleep, not even bothering to dress myself. I fell quickly, fantasizing about my revenge.
I must have slept for hours because when I woke, it was pitch black outside. I rolled onto my side and checked my alarm clock. Eleven o’clock. Perfect timing, I thought.
I sat up and tucked my towel around my waist a little tighter, stood and went straight for my dresser. I grabbed a pair of boxers and socks and put those on before heading for my closet and tossing an old, worn pair of jeans on, a thermal and an old tee. I brushed my teeth, grabbed my wallet and keys, threw on my boots and headed toward my piece of shit truck.
I knew exactly where I was going because it was where I planned on going every night until I forgot about Caroline Hunt.
My truck started but barely and I tore out of our driveway not bothering with my seatbelt, kicking up dust and rocks as my tires spun against the loose gravel. I’d replaced my stereo because I couldn’t stand radio, at least not Kalispell radio, and plugged my phone into the audio cable. Bastille’s Dreams remake blasted and I turned it up, letting the painful lyrics wash over me, fueling my desire to get plastered as quickly as possible.
I entertained myself with thoughts of strangling Spencer Blackwell with both hands then beating the crap out of him with my fists. Bastard. I pulled into the local pub and put my piece into park before tucking my left foot into the emergency brake.
I disconnected my phone and the stereo went silent, reminding me of how alone I really was. I turned the engine off and absolute silence surrounded me. I couldn’t take it. My door creaked with age as it swung open and I slammed it shut, unable not to. The fury raging in my blood was more than I could contain.
Before heading inside, my hand went to the empty space between the cab and the bed and searched for the bottle of whiskey I always had wedged in between. I took a large swig, not wanting to spend too much of my savings on the liquor inside the crap establishment. After all, I was going to need it. Revenge was a costly business.
I took one more swig for good measure and wedged it back in its usual place then wiped my mouth on the back of my sleeve. My hair swung heavy in my eyes. It was still a little wet from my shower and I thought about tying it back with the extra leather tie I usually kept in my glove compartment but thought better of it. It helped me hide and I wanted to hide.
I looked around me. The lot was full but I only recognized a few cars this time which was good because I had no intention of making conversation. Regardless, most of Kalispell had stopped trying because I’d rarely done any responding since Cricket cut out my fucking heart and ate it raw. The hair was only insurance.
I took two deep draws of air, gulping it down, desperate for it to soothe me but, of course, it didn’t. I let each escape my lips in shaky breaths and clenched my fists over and over before deciding to head inside.
My boots crunched the gravel beneath my feet as I headed toward the door. When I entered, I ducked my head toward the floor and let my hair cover me, not that it did any good other than to conceal me. I could still feel the heat of their stares, though, still feel the pity in their gazes. I wanted so badly to yell at them to fuck off but I kept as much composure as possible. I couldn’t get kicked out of the only real bar in Kalispell.
I picked a stool at the end of the bar, the same stool I always did in the corner and in the back because it was dark. I sat and met Vi’s eyes. She sauntered over to me, placing her elbows on the bar top, giving me a clear view of her generous chest. I held back my eye roll.
“Hello, darlin’,” she drawled. “You look like shit.”
“The usual, Vi,” I told her as quietly as I could.
“How ‘bout a kiss then first?” she asked, leaning in a bit more.
“Christ, Vi, how many times? Huh? Just get me the gosh damn drink.”
She laughed. “Already worked up then, I see. I like it,” she said, winking.
Vi, or Violet, was thirty-nine years old, had lived in Kalispell her entire life, and had worked as a bartender for over fifteen years. I could tell at one time Vi had been a beautiful woman but I could also tell she had heard many hollow promises from equally hollow men and that she obviously believed them all. Otherwise, why would she still be there? I watched her tired eyes and her slightly too-forced smile. She had the look of someone who used to be chased but had graduated to the chaser. She looked miserable.
She left and returned with an empty glass and a bottle of Jack. She set the glass on the bar and filled it to the brim. She was being generous. She was always this way. She told me once she hoped I would drink it all away and decide to take her up on her offer. I told her that would be a cold day in hell, to which she only laughed.
“Drink up, buttercup,” she said, smiling lasciviously.
“I will,” I told the bar top.
I watched the world around me through the breaks in the hanging strands and six glasses later, I was starting to finally feel numb. I lifted my head a little feeling slightly relieved, feeling like I could breathe a little deeper now that the ache wasn’t so severe. I continued to search the crowd, not knowing who I was really looking for.
A quiet but persistent nagging awareness took residence in my chest for some unknown reason as I watched a girl dance on her own in the middle of the dance floor. Others around her paid no attention to her but she was the first person my eyes were drawn to. I studied her.
Her hair was tucked into a blue scarf, little tendrils peeking through and grazing across her neck whenever she moved. She was extraordinarily tall and her hips and rear end were more indulgent than I’d ever considered before. She turned slightly, giving me her silhouette. Her stomach was flat and her breasts were full. She was beautiful, I could tell, even if I couldn’t see her fully through the low lights.
“Jeez,” I said, swiping a hand down my face. “I’ve had too much.”
But I still couldn’t stop watching her. She wore worn jean cut offs, a fitted button up with the sleeves rolled up her forearms and ankle boots. She rolled her shoulders playfully, enticing someone she knew just off the dance floor. Another girl joined her side and they did the robot. She threw her head back and laughed.
This shocked me almost sober. “That laugh,” I whispered to myself. “That laugh,” I repeated. I knew it but couldn’t quite place it.
She took her friend’s hand and twirled her around the floor vivaciously. She was so full of life. So my exact opposite.
She lightheartedly skipped in place and raised an arm in salute to her friend before turning toward me.
That’s when I got a good, clear look at her. I gasped out loud and placed my hand on the back of my head, my elbow on the bartop, ducking my head down lower to hide myself further.
Please, please, please do not recognize me, I thought, still watching her from the corner of my eye.
She stood two seats down from me. “Vi!” she said, laughing a little. “Vi!”
Vi turned toward her. “Hey, baby! What’ll it be?”
“Can I have a water, please?” she asked, sitting down and releasing a breath of exhaustion. She continued to smile, though, and it ate a little at my gut.
“Of course,” Vi answered and started to pour water into a clear plastic cup. Vi’s eyes pinched a little. “Hey?” she said.
“Yeah?” she asked.
“How come I never see you drink anything harder?”
Her face fell a little but picked right back up. No one would have noticed it but me. “I’ve never had good luck with alcohol,” she admitted a bit sadly.
Vi was quick enough to recognize something there that didn’t want to be said and let it go with a nod, handing over the water without another word.
“Vi!” someone else called out and she walked their direction.
She took a long drink from her water and set it down, turning toward the crowd and surveying the dancers. A small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth, some private joke she shared with herself.
I looked on her for a long time. Long enough for my heart to calm itself. Long enough to struggle with myself in an internal argument. Finally, I decided that I wasn’t watching her because I found her attractive, though I knew she was. Only that I was wondering what she was doing there.
She turned around in her seat after catching her breath and glanced at me. For a moment, I believed she didn’t recognize me but I was wrong. A second scan confirmed it for her. She leaned in and narrowed her eyes. Shit.
Ethan?” she asked. “Is that you?”
“Hello, Finley,” I answered.

 


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FisherAmelie

About Fisher Amelie:
Fisher Amelie resides in the South with her kick ace husband slash soul mate. She earned her first ‘mama’ patch in 2009. She also lives with her Weim, ‘Jonah’, and her Beta, ‘Whale’. All these living creatures keep the belly of her life full, sometimes to the point of gluttony, but she doesn’t mind all that much because life isn’t worth living if it isn’t entertaining, right?
Fisher is the author of The Seven Deadly Series, The Sleepless Series, and Leaving Series, and was a semi-finalist in Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award.

 

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